Vestpod Event: Money Mindset with Holli Rubin x Urenna Okonkwo
This event took place on 24 January 2020 at Huckletree Shoreditch.
Sometimes, the reason it's so difficult to take charge of our finances is because we have an unhealthy money mindset.
Understanding your money mindset involves being aware of what shapes our attitude toward money, what is it exactly that holds us back, and how to overcome our limiting beliefs about money.
On the 24th of January we hosted a morning event with Holli Rubin, body image specialist, mental health clinician and psychotherapist, and Urenna Okonkwo, Founder of Cashmere, a smart savings app helping women to indulge in luxury goods without guilt. Our conversation helped us dig deeper into these questions and more.
"Money mindset, if we define it, is how we think about money. What are the money stories that we have grown up with, what we've been told by our families, and, from a wider level - from society. Everyone has a different money story,” Holli says.
‘To be able to have some awareness about why money makes us uncomfortable, we have to be able to ask ourselves the difficult questions. We have to take a few moments to actually think, 'why do I feel this way if I'm purchasing something,’ 'what's making me feel uncomfortable about my bank statement today', only then we can really get to know our money mindset better.’
Urenna, who worked as a financial advisor prior to her setting up Cashmere, agrees that understanding your relationship with money is key, and that not enough financial advisors address this. “It's so important that financial advisors understand you as a person in order to tailor your investments.”
And is there a difference between how men and women talk about and treat money?
“Men take more risks. The men are always more vocal. Women want to think about things first. We are also generally more goals-oriented, we tend to ask 'why are we doing this', there's a purpose attached to our actions.” Holli agrees, and highlights the fact that often, for women, there's a denial attached to managing money. Burying your head in the sand is easy when you've convinced yourself you're not good at managing money, and becoming aware of this feeling is the first step to getting better.
When it comes to self-worth, how do we feel good about money without judging ourselves by the size of our bank account? Emilie says these feelings can sometimes be contradictory.
Holli advises that it's all about what we value and care about and how we get what we care about. “It doesn't have to be materialistic; it can be time, or going for a walk.” Stripping back the emotion from the conversation about money is key.
So what are the simple steps we can take to start building up better habits?
Using cash and an online bank such as Monzo, and feeling the ‘connection’ to money being actually real, not a virtual thing that somehow simply exists, is what's helped Urenna budget her weeks. Talking to your friends, community and having accountability is also vital in shifting your mindset. Is there a way to control impulsive shopping? Holli thinks that delaying the gratification, and quelling the impulse by telling yourself to 'just stop', gives us a moment to pause and make more rational decisions about our purchases.
Emilie agrees that giving pause for thought is an effective strategy. One trick you can use? If something costs £10, give it 10 minutes to think about whether you really need it. If it costs £100 - give it a hundred minutes. It works (for Emilie, anyway)!
Positive affirmations are a great way to counteract negative mindsets. The more positive we can be about ourselves, the more we're likely to change our habits and get out of the 'negative money mindset’ zone. Rewarding yourself, in the form of transferring money that you managed not to spend over the weekend over into your pension, for example, is a good way to save and feel good about your achievements.
Holli also notes that it's important to take the time to interact with money. Talk to money with your partner and your kids. Understand the core of what the value of money is to you - these are all important steps in both breaking the money taboo, and addressing our money mindset.
Finally, learning about the value of money often comes with age and experience. And sometimes, making mistakes is the only real way to learn and get the motivation to shift that money mindset.
Thank you so much for attending! You can follow us on Eventbrite to make sure you don’t miss out on next event.
Find Holli on Hollirubin.com
Instagram @thehollirubin
Twitter @thehollirubin
Find Urenna on CashmereApp
Instagram @cashmeretheapp @urennao
Twitter @CashmereTheApp
Here are a few resources we mentioned at the end of the talk:
Books: I enjoyed reading Essentialism by Greg McKeown and Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones' by James Clear. These are not money books but great if you’d like to build healthier habits! Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.
Tough Love Podcast hosted by Holli, Episode 6: How do you value yourself? with Emilie Bellet Anchor.fm.