Know Your Worth and Build Your Self-Confidence, With Tiwalola Ogunlesi
💪Specialising in Positive Psychology, Tiwalola Ogunlesi is a confidence coach and founder of Confident and Killing It — a self-love revolution waking women up to their worth so they can be confident, unstoppable and live the life they desire.
🔥With her infectious energy, Tiwalola is on a mission to help every woman and girl to love and believe in themselves, harnessing the power of self-confidence.
💥 Today on The Wallet:
1️⃣ Tiwalola tells me how she has explored and built up her own confidence, and how by recognising where her strengths and passions meet she’s found where she feels most empowered.
2️⃣ Down days are inevitable and happen to us all, so Tiwalola shares how she manages negative thoughts when they arise, how to navigate the days when you don’t feel your best and how we can define both success and failure on our own terms.
3️⃣ We discuss the role confidence plays in our relationship with money, how to recognise the difference between our worth and value, and how Tiwalola views money as a tool that enables her to have more impact.
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You can listen (46 min) and subscribe here:
Spotify (to be uploaded ASAP — apologies for technical issue)
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growth is intentional
There are practical steps you can take toward becoming the version of yourself that you most want to be.
You have the power of choice to reframe your mindset to love yourself — Tiwalola shifted her mindset by unlocking personal growth.
It’s all about learning to lean into the positive possibility of your life.
You can choose sabotage, or you can choose empowerment — understanding that your thoughts are connected to your emotions, and your emotions are connected to the actions you take is a powerful tool in helping make the mental shift from negative to positive.
There is a strong link between what you think about yourself, and what you then go on to do. Your mind is the foundation of everything: once your mind is in the right place, you can achieve anything that you want.
When choosing a coach, you need to look for someone whose energy you get along well with. The best coaches are those that can help you navigate your journey, rather than just telling you what to do and try to fix you. Always check the testimonials, and if you can, ask for people who have used the coach you’re interested in about their experience.
2. confidence is not an absence of self-doubt
When the negativity crawls back in, you need to have ammunition to fight back. You need to challenge the negativity with the truth about yourself.
Confidence is a journey. Life is not going to be perfect, so when those down days come, you need to acknowledge how you feel and try to articulate why you feel that way. Then, you can begin to look for a way forward. Don’t ignore your negative emotions because confidence is not an absence of self-doubt.
Comparison is the thief of your joy. The biggest driver of negative thoughts is comparing yourself to other people. Imagine you’re driving, and you’re constantly looking left and right but never straight ahead — it’s not going to end well. The same goes for when you fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others: you need to stay focused on your lane.
There’s enough room for everyone to thrive and win because abundance is unlimited. Just because someone else is winning in their field doesn’t mean you’ll end up being second place — there’s enough room for all of us to be first place.
Perfectionism is another big driver that will knock your confidence. When you aim for perfection, you’re setting ridiculously high standards for yourself — instead, learn to set realistic targets.
If you want to believe in yourself more, make little promises to yourself and keep those promises. This will help you build momentum — big changes happen from tiny habits.
You never know what’s going to happen until you put yourself out there! If your biggest fear does become a reality, you need to have a plan for what you will do to bounce back.
Failure is not your identity — it happens to you, but it is not who you are. You get to decide what failure and success is on your own terms.
3. Money is not your identity
It’s important to know what your values are. It’s a good strategy to align your to-do list and goals with your values. When you don’t honour your values, you are like to feel empty and unfulfilled.
With money, it’s vital that you’re aware of how you think about money and the language that you use around it. If you tell yourself you’re bad at saving, you will find yourself struggling to save.
Money is a vessel. Money, in and of itself, can’t be good or bad — what matters is how it is used.
Don’t internalise things and remember that money is not your identity. It’s important to do the work to realise who you really are rather than attaching your identity to your work, your earnings, or other material things.
Your worth is intrinsic because you are born with worth, and nobody can take that away from you. That’s why it’s important to invest in the things people can’t take away from you — money comes and goes, so invest in the things that you own and have power over.
* Please note that we are not certified financial advisers! The articles and information made available on Vestpod and this podcast are provided for information and educational purposes only and do not constitute financial advice. You are advised to consult with an independent financial advisor for advice on your specific circumstances. Also, if you’re investing money, make sure it’s for the long term and you understand what you're investing in.*
RESOURCES:
You can follow and connect with Tiwalola at:
Twitter @Tiwalowla
Instagram: @tiwalowla @confidentandkillingit
Podcast: Confident and Killing It
Website: www.confidentandkillingit.com
We shared some resources in this episode, all the links are below: